The Oscar Ajoku Blog

  HOW TO MEASURE YOUR ACTUAL SUCCESS Forget what a lot of performance coaches say, life isn't a competition. This is not a food chain and you are not a predator or prey. Life is a vast sphere of opportunities, and though yes we compete with one another but the real competition is that with our previous selves.  The aim in life is to become better versions of ourselves with each passing day, not better or secondary versions of someone else. Every journey has its route as does every voyager has his way. We are voyagers with unique routes and unique destinations, so it becomes useless to track your progress by someone else's explorations.  The cheetah doesn't see itself as a loser because it hasn't swum the Indian Ocean as the blue whale does and neither does the blue whale sees itself as a failure because it hasn't strode through a safari.  Your performance index is actually measured by how better you are today than you were yesterday and not against anyone else. And...

  TEST No. 1: HOW TO KNOW YOU MIGHT ACTUALLY LOVE THAT PERSON OF INTEREST FOR REAL First, imagine taking away the contingency of intimacy and all romantic affiliations with such a person. Finally, if you are still keen on seeing them/talking to them/spending a great deal of your day with them regardless if you could afterward, then there's something there. Love, as it should be, intimate or not, isn't mainly in the getting; and as such even when there's nothing to get anymore, it thrives yet. TEST No. 2:    HOW TO BE CERTAIN YOU’RE REALLY HAPPY BEING WITH SOMEONE IN A PARTNERSHIP (WHETHER IN BUSINESS TERMS OR OTHERWISE) Does being with the person(s) feel like work? If it does, doesn't mean anything. Life itself feels like work. However if it feels like work you wished you didn't have to do, then you're probably forcing it way too much. And a great rule of life is knowing that people will still be alright without you. It's not your job to make them happy o...

  Loving someone is the bravest thing we can ever do as individuals, because when we choose to love we are taking a chance at loss. A risk that beyond all things is actually worth it. You see, love and loss are an inevitable pair, and because the heart is a fragile thing we sometimes forfeit the chance to love out of the fear of loss. "What good is it to have a thing that makes you feel so good if you are only going to lose it," we say. Well, guess what: no one really needs to cry over spilled milk if you think about it, it's already spilled and crying won't unspill it; rather it just reminds you of the tragic experience over and over again. In other words, you can't go around worrying all your life about losing someone because you are going to lose them eventually. For some in a year and for others in a hundred. Even if not by choice or chance, by such ill fate as death. But that's the thing, whether by choice or ill fate it was always going to be. That'...

Every human once had something they tried so hard to overcome. For many they are still in the process of trying. But it's like breathing; we all have that in common. Everybody has a habit they want to excise out of their life. You might not know because some of us are really great at hiding things with a straight face, but fact is every individual in the world struggles - just at different things and in differing degrees.  I've seen the best of men become the worst in a blink of an eye because of rage. I've heard the unthinkable from those you would never think such of. What that means is that we are much alike than we are different, and that the only thing that separates each of us are the choices we make afterward. Mistakes are a part of life. The only problem is that some are so addictive that they grow from being mistakes to becoming a lifestyle. And this is where many people fail. It's not a problem if a man falls as long as he gets up, but it starts to become a p...

What makes a life?  Is it the experiences encountered?  The people acquainted with?  The juxtaposition of dreams and aspirations as against reality?  Or just a simple assessment of one’s own self?  Well, it doesn’t matter which we choose; each has the potential to be the actual answer depending on personal perspective and objectives; however, one thing we can’t deny is that in all of this, none can be possible without a single decision. So, that’s what I really think life is. A product of one decision. And sometimes this one decision seems to take the form of an onion—a bulb comprising of many other consequent decisions; but it all begins with that one and either spirals downwards or cascades uphill from there on. With a careful look at each of our lives, it becomes easier to spot that none of us got where we are by mere mistake. For even mistakes are offshoots of one’s decisions. So, yes, we are a consequence of decisions—whether our personal decisions or other...

Back then in the 90’s, it was difficult being yourself. At least for me. At least for a lot of kids. There was always a standard to live up to; your parent’s, society’s etc. I’m not saying it’s not the same now, with the plethora of people being driven by TikTok and Instagram standards; it is. Just that back then, there weren’t a lot of options. Or should I say, not a lot that you thought you typically stood a chance at. In other words, you were conditioned to be freely allowed to be a bunch of things except what you oftentimes wanted the most.  Anyway, there were also the ones who got away, pursuing their own dreams and didn’t give a care in the world about what anyone else thought. But for others, they were subjected to be what was assumed right, safe or just merely achievable. In those days, as it also is today, the easiest way to navigate such ways was timidity. Arguing with your guardians or teachers over a case you knew you were going to lose was clearly a waste of time. No o...

On any given day, I would have chosen to title this “ What I would do if I was a billionaire, ” however this will do for today. A preacher in the United States, Frank W. Gunsaulus, already utilized the same title but with the word millionaire and not billionaire during a sermon in the late 1800’s and it led to the birth of Illinois Institute of Technology. Nevertheless, the result wasn’t ingrained in his choice of title, but in the passion that drove his proposal and the openheartedness of that one man amongst many who heard it and received it.  So, rather than bicker over proper article titles, let’s focus on what’s most important—possibilities. You see, giving back to society is one of the most used modern day cliché terms, but as much as it is cliché it is also very necessary. It is necessary because it’s how we find our inner celestial nature. The very reason for the creation of mankind was to give back to creation. In Genesis, the command of God to man all revolved around givi...

  This title has become a very popular statement among a certain group of Christians around the world; and while logically or literally it may appear to be wrong because every living being that can will itself to do a thing can also wield the same willpower to not do certain things. And so, we can say God cannot lie, God cannot fail etc. Yet at the same time, when God needed the King called Ahab to be lied to, He sent a deceptive spirit into one of the king’s seers to achieve that. When the same king assumed God wouldn’t fail because he thought wrong, in that God would grant him victory, he fell in battle. In other words, on the surface, it’s a conclusion that cannot be true of anyone when you carefully analyze all the premises surrounding this argument. However, this is more contextual than anything else. First because we cannot compare the ways of man to the ways of a god.  We can’t juxtapose the limitations of physical qualities when metaphysical features intervene. And esp...

 MONTHLY SPECIAL!!!! Suffering is often seen as a consequence of ill actions, but in reality it is the simplest symptomatic proof of life. It’s the evidence that one is alive—and just as significant to the sustainability of the human ecosystem as all other forms of growth, because suffering in itself is a form of growth.  The human soul and mind are conformed to develop through moments of joy and suffering. Perhaps not intellectual growth, or of any terrestrial form, but the type that borne self-realization and acceptance. If one is attentive, it can be easily realized that it is at this point we find our truest selves, our deepest ideas, and our inevitable truths.  All living things suffer; it’s a cancerous side effect of being alive we can’t but do without. The only difference is based on what we define as suffering. And because we see different things through different lenses and in differing lights, we assume some do and others don’t—suffer, that is. But this isn’t tr...