BE BOLD

Back then in the 90’s, it was difficult being yourself. At least for me. At least for a lot of kids. There was always a standard to live up to; your parent’s, society’s etc. I’m not saying it’s not the same now, with the plethora of people being driven by TikTok and Instagram standards; it is. Just that back then, there weren’t a lot of options. Or should I say, not a lot that you thought you typically stood a chance at. In other words, you were conditioned to be freely allowed to be a bunch of things except what you oftentimes wanted the most. 

Anyway, there were also the ones who got away, pursuing their own dreams and didn’t give a care in the world about what anyone else thought. But for others, they were subjected to be what was assumed right, safe or just merely achievable.

In those days, as it also is today, the easiest way to navigate such ways was timidity. Arguing with your guardians or teachers over a case you knew you were going to lose was clearly a waste of time. No one cared about the process of attempting to get the answers right just that you got it right, if you know what I mean. So, you just say yes and move on, until it dawns on you that you’ve said yes to a lot of persons and so many except yourself; but then it’s already too late. You are already living a life you never wanted to be yours but one that by choice and circumstance has become the only one you got.

This is the story of a lot of people, who still comfort themselves with the idea that if they can somehow take care of their loved ones with it then it must not have been a bad choice after all. But that’s not the point at all. It’s not about that. It’s not about whether it’s a bad or good choice. It’s not even about if it helps you survive or not. It’s about you. About you exploding as the cosmic elements did forming all planetary units and the stars when the universe was designed into the masterpiece that it is. Because that’s exactly how we are—like cosmic elements and there’s a whole lot of universes within us waiting to be born; and unless we live right, as we were designed and made to, they will never be unraveled.

That’s why I’m telling you that it’s not about having a safe life. That’s great, believe me; it’s what I chose, or what I was made to choose. But no! It’s about living till you have nothing else to live for. 

Not in the way you understand the phrase. 

Not having what to live for doesn’t always mean a lack of purpose, sometimes it could relate to the complete fulfilment of purpose such that there’re no regrets and most times no need for more time. You see, the reason why most of us crave for more time is because we know we haven’t even reached a quarter of the things we were created to do. We just know deep within. Sort of like there’s a detector inside of us that beeps regarding how far behind we are despite how successful we seem to be. This my friend is why you find a lot of CEOs crying in their offices at night when everyone else is asleep. It’s not always because their companies are failing. No, sometimes it’s just because they can sense a judgment coming from within them that they are still as empty as they feared. Housewives also, or even plumbers, teachers, and actors, whatever. Well, it doesn’t matter what they do daily, they cry, because their spirit was made to explore, to be, not to conform to other men’s definition of life. It is designed to find itself within itself, and upon that to push this knowledge towards the physical entity into becoming. Which is what self-discovery is. Realizing what you are, and not what the world says you must be.

And to do this, one must be bold. Very bold.

You see, when I was a kid, I was a timid one. More often than not, I never said what I wanted to. I had to bottle a lot of things up. I never did what I wanted to, because I was scared that it might lead to this and then that and afterwards that, that, that. I had a picture of the perfect slippery slope and cascade of negative events for everything I hoped to do. So, it kept me docile, never challenging my idea of safe and should-dos. And right now, I wonder how I would have been as a person if I wasn’t like that. I’m not saying my life now isn’t enough, but what if I could have been more.

For one, I’m a great songwriter and lyricist and have written multiple songs, but I never once tried out to be an artiste. Or to even attempt to meet one who could do the singing. I stayed in my safe-zone, not until recently.

And here’s the thing: God can’t make us act in ways we are not first ready and willing to act in. If you want to be docile, He would try to make you bolder; but if you won’t budge, He might just have to use you as you are with all the limitations that come with it, or not at all. In the end, we begin to sculpt the shape of our lives immediately we are born. And even though there’s a beautiful canvas with all the beautiful things designed for us to do, it’s our responsibility to chisel ourselves into shape till we can fit into those plans.

That’s why being bold is important. That’s why trusting your spirit and doing all the things you’re led to are important. You know, it might seem like it’s a waste of time, but just the journey alone might be all you need to get into shape. This is why you must not be afraid to try things. To try to be something, as you are led of course. That’s why I’ve told myself that when I do have a kid, she won’t be timid like I’m trying not to be anymore. Instead, she’s going to be a warrior who is never afraid to try being. She’s going to be bold, free to pursue being her best possible self and to keep trying till she is regardless of how tiring it may appear. 

If she wants to dance like I never did, she can. If she wants to sing, she can. If she wants to laugh out loud without restraint and play with the other kids in the neighborhood which I never did because I couldn’t let my guard down or bring myself to the thought of being wrongly directed by them, she can. If she wants to travel the world and take pictures like I also never did, she can. If she wants to host a podcast or a blog as a teenager and attempt to reach and positively influence a bunch of other teenagers and possibly adults like I somewhat did but was too in my feelings to go beyond the “safe-zone”, she can. Because just as there are many things that could go wrong, many things you could lose, there is also a complete and equal opposite. The things that could go right, the things you could gain. And if you never dare, you will never stand a chance at either. This is about standing a chance. Standing a chance at being more, being different. Being you.

And sincerely, all that matters is the discovery process, and that in good faith, little by little, step by step, trial by trial, she gets closer to knowing and owning the life God ordained for her.

Honestly, I believe that is what living as a grand act is all about—trying. I think it’s about trying. About trying to be something, and everything but nothing.

If we are not trying, then we are not living. And if we are not living, then what are we doing here in the first place? I know it is often said that there are no points for efforts, only results; but that’s wrong. While that may seem true based on how the current human world works, never let it make you think efforts don’t really count except the desired results are achieved. They do. They are the levers that help us move the world as Archimedes postulated, even if not today, then tomorrow, or the next, or whenever. 

Just take a moment and imagine if we erased all memories of our efforts and left the results, we’d be empty because we’d be erasing the core element of whom we’ve become. 

Results don’t help us grow; they simply show that we have. On the other hand, it is the efforts that culminated to these results that do. As said, results are simply the reasons why you get celebrated, but the constant trying and re-trying are nature’s way of shaping us into the versions of ourselves fit for the task ahead. That’s why if there are really no “points” for effort, there’s really no point at all, because they are the sole reason why you are who you are in the first place, right?

Hence, I’ll say this to you: be bold. Be you. Try your hands at whatever it is you want to. As long as there’s a deep longing within to, do it. The spirit has a way of communicating with our senses, and most times it starts as longings. When you are sure of this, don’t be scared, reach out to the part of you that knows it’s the right thing to do and the part of you that could potentially be borne out of it and summon the courage to give it a go.

The truth is, if you are going to live the best way you were designed to, and not waste any time doing something you don’t love absolutely, it’s going to have to come from you. From your willingness to give yourself a chance—a chance at what you know you’ve always been drawn to. A chance to keep trying till you find the round hole where your round peg fits. Believe me, this doesn’t mean you should be a candidate of floundering, a person with no clear direction in life. However, if you must flounder to find where you ought to be, then it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world. Because that’s all that matters: that you find where you fit in in the world. Note, not where your college degree and formal or informal education suggests that you do, not where your friends, parents, partners say that you do, not even where your need for safety and security suppose that you do. But where your inherent energy says. Where the latent and kinetic energies you were born with agree with. Where you can actually be and live a life without regrets and with nothing else left to live for when all is said and done. Jesus could have been anything else—a synagogue leader, a guru, even a king if he dared to, but He lived the life He was made for and at 33 said it was finished. The hope is that when our time comes, we are not at some corner wishing for more hours because that only means there’s something we feel is missing, something we failed to do. The aim is to live without limits, without leftovers, without regrets, without do-overs, without the need for more, because we would have done it all. We would have lived our best lives. We would have lived the life that was always ours by design, by purpose, by choice and by desire. That is true living, and that is the kind of living we were made for.