Finding A Balance
DAILY VITAMIN
-Finding A Balance
I have come to realize through observations that the major reasons why certain people act abruptly in relationships are Insecurity and Selfishness. Even in our relations with God and men, these two anomalies prove potent against growth or an increase in closeness between two individuals.
1) INSECURITY: Insecurity is self disapproval. Insecure people tend to disqualify themselves from being fit enough to handle certain individuals as familiars. On the side of the line, we might sense it as pride on their part, but truth remains that not only are they fearful of what they believe might occur or how huge that step might prove to be, they also are pressure-prone and so avoid any experience that might induce such in their lives. Peter showed this sign, when even without any sign of condemnation from Jesus, just a head start for a friendship, he disqualified himself saying "I'm too much of a sinner for you to have around" (Luke 5:8 LB); and insecure people never ever want to try if they don't feel comfortable with it. This is the same reason why Peter, as well as the others, was quick to ask 'Is it I?' when Jesus spoke of a betrayal. Insecurity creates a tendency to think one will fail at first attempt, and so instead of failing, why try; thereby coercing oneself as a response reaction into a rigid life cycle where he can't hurt anyone or be hurt himself.
Remedy:- Always approach the insecure fellow with an attitude that releases an aura of assurance that not all relationships are bound to end in trauma. Jesus did that with Peter when He told him to drop it all- the poor mentality, the damned status, the fearful thoughts- and follow Him. And you'd notice that Peter came in more boldly and afterwards exuded such charisma that people could see that he was now different from his old self. Thus, don't judge; just help to bring out the latent charisma in that insecure friend of yours, and together produce a beneficial union that would blossom beyond the wheels of time.
2) SELFISHNESS: As much as I'm also guilty of this, i must make the same judgment on this. Selfish people are more concerned about self. Their safety first before their impact on others. Turtles are; they'd rather stay shell-struck than any attempt to be love-struck with their surrounding mates. Oysters are worse- they build an informidable crust of calcium and silicate so that nothing happens unless those things come to them. Selfish people never make the first move to establish a friendship since they think they don't need it; and so with man and God they wait until they get approached first, and even with that they still might not even give any encouragement to the other party involved. Laban is a peculiar example. Even after causing a distraught effect on Jacob's life for 21 years, without any attempt to call it truce, when Jacob fled with his entire family, he took the stress of traveling for days only to ask for a silly idol he assumed brought him good fortune. With man, it's 'what is in it for me?', with God, it's nothing far from the same.
REMEDY:- Selfish people need to be taught a lesson by reflecting their opposite trait. Jacob spoke to Laban about how he had been good to him deapite his repugnant character just as David did with Saul, and once he realized Jacob was right, he felt a sense of shame that forced him to find a way reconciliation and truce. Never try to play the same game with the self-focused man, it just strengthens his egotism to display less selflessness; rather like Jesus exhibit the love of God to him- and let love cover his multitude of wrongs, and on seeing this, there is a 95 percent chance that in his shame he would make a turn to change for good.
-Finding A Balance
I have come to realize through observations that the major reasons why certain people act abruptly in relationships are Insecurity and Selfishness. Even in our relations with God and men, these two anomalies prove potent against growth or an increase in closeness between two individuals.
1) INSECURITY: Insecurity is self disapproval. Insecure people tend to disqualify themselves from being fit enough to handle certain individuals as familiars. On the side of the line, we might sense it as pride on their part, but truth remains that not only are they fearful of what they believe might occur or how huge that step might prove to be, they also are pressure-prone and so avoid any experience that might induce such in their lives. Peter showed this sign, when even without any sign of condemnation from Jesus, just a head start for a friendship, he disqualified himself saying "I'm too much of a sinner for you to have around" (Luke 5:8 LB); and insecure people never ever want to try if they don't feel comfortable with it. This is the same reason why Peter, as well as the others, was quick to ask 'Is it I?' when Jesus spoke of a betrayal. Insecurity creates a tendency to think one will fail at first attempt, and so instead of failing, why try; thereby coercing oneself as a response reaction into a rigid life cycle where he can't hurt anyone or be hurt himself.
Remedy:- Always approach the insecure fellow with an attitude that releases an aura of assurance that not all relationships are bound to end in trauma. Jesus did that with Peter when He told him to drop it all- the poor mentality, the damned status, the fearful thoughts- and follow Him. And you'd notice that Peter came in more boldly and afterwards exuded such charisma that people could see that he was now different from his old self. Thus, don't judge; just help to bring out the latent charisma in that insecure friend of yours, and together produce a beneficial union that would blossom beyond the wheels of time.
2) SELFISHNESS: As much as I'm also guilty of this, i must make the same judgment on this. Selfish people are more concerned about self. Their safety first before their impact on others. Turtles are; they'd rather stay shell-struck than any attempt to be love-struck with their surrounding mates. Oysters are worse- they build an informidable crust of calcium and silicate so that nothing happens unless those things come to them. Selfish people never make the first move to establish a friendship since they think they don't need it; and so with man and God they wait until they get approached first, and even with that they still might not even give any encouragement to the other party involved. Laban is a peculiar example. Even after causing a distraught effect on Jacob's life for 21 years, without any attempt to call it truce, when Jacob fled with his entire family, he took the stress of traveling for days only to ask for a silly idol he assumed brought him good fortune. With man, it's 'what is in it for me?', with God, it's nothing far from the same.
REMEDY:- Selfish people need to be taught a lesson by reflecting their opposite trait. Jacob spoke to Laban about how he had been good to him deapite his repugnant character just as David did with Saul, and once he realized Jacob was right, he felt a sense of shame that forced him to find a way reconciliation and truce. Never try to play the same game with the self-focused man, it just strengthens his egotism to display less selflessness; rather like Jesus exhibit the love of God to him- and let love cover his multitude of wrongs, and on seeing this, there is a 95 percent chance that in his shame he would make a turn to change for good.
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